I am remembering what it feels like to hold a newborn in my arms; the overwhelming joy and gratitude for a precious new life. I am reminded of the immediate need to protect and cocoon my little one from the world around. With my eyes closed, I sense this place in time. The smell of your skin, the warmth of your small body contrasting the coolness of the hospital room – the bustling of the nurses around us and the stillness of you pressed to my chest, held close to my heart.
Before you arrived, I wondered how my heart would love another as I love your daddy. Of course, that seems a strange thought now, because you made my heart grow larger and you filled every nook. You are my Darling A ; you have made me more of the person I didn’t know I could be. You made me Mama.
In this moment, I am thinking of how tiny you were when first I held you and how any day now, your arms will be wrapped around your baby sister, just as I once held you. In that moment to come, the miracle of life will expand both of our hearts, once again.