There he is – my big boy. My Little A, that doesn’t quite seem so little any more. On the last day of junior kindergarten, I asked him how he felt about his first year of school ending. He said to me, “I’m ready for new things. I want to go to the giant water park, I want to see movies in the theatre, I want to swim in the deep end.”
This kid’s got a plan.
“Oh, but he’s still small,” my heart whispers. After those big words, he jumped off of our front steps and scraped his knee on the walkway. He still needed mama’s kiss to make him feel better and I still need him to want it. This moment in time is about him, about his age, about his first summer off of school, about new adventures – it’s about us and our relationship and all the special things we’re going to do together.
Just two years ago, I could carry him in my arms and rock him to sleep. When I’m scared that he’s growing up too fast, I open up that memory from my soul and breathe it in. I let it wash over me and remember every subtle and overwhelming emotion I felt. Then I reach for him and squeeze him tight.
But there will be a time, when I long for a glimpse of his 4-year-old self.
So I’m cherishing right now – the way he jumps off of everything, his master lego skills, the way he says “you’re really cool mama”, the intense life questions he poses, his adorable humour…these are the things, these incredible pieces of his character, that I’m noticing, loving, being a part of and inevitably, tucking away for my future self.
Gosh little one, we have so darn much together. Our lives are rich and full because we have each other. This summer, I’m following your plan and jumping on board all of those new things with you. You have your mama’s attention and I don’t want to miss a thing.
I’m in love with every wild bit of you.